As is well known, I've been on a million and two diets in the last 28 years or so since I first started worrying about my weight, and as you know, I've failed a million and two times. After failing something a million and two times it is extremely difficult to 1) try again and 2) believe in yourself about this particular thing.
Now, if one thing is common in EVERY SINGLE plan I've been on, it's this; they want to know your "why". WHY, WHY, WHY? For me, not that hard. There are a multitude of reasons WHY I want to lose weight.
I want to feel better
I want to look better
I want to wear pretty clothes
I want to be sexy
I don't want to get diabetes
I want to be able to keep up with the kids
I don't want to embarrass my kids with my weight
I want to fit in restaurant booths....comfortably
I don't ever again want the humiliation of being too fat to fit on a carnival ride
I want people to take me more seriously
I don't want people to look through me like I'm not there
I don't want people to think I'm lazy (I'm not)
I want my Asthma to improve
I want my cholesterol numbers to improve
I want my liver function to improve
I want to fart less (yes, I fart much less when I eat well!)
I don't want my skin to itch, itch, itch all the time.
I don't want to be a weird lumpy shape!
.... the list could go on and on and on and on. I have a trillion whys. There are that many small indignities in being FAT. So yes, all the plans have that in common. My whys are motivational for a while.. especially when I just start out and I am so disgusted with what I see in the mirror and so fed up with how bad I feel... but when I start losing weight and start feeling better, sometimes the whys don't scream so loudly and I lose motivation. This is why I am SO excited again about my new lifestyle living on planet Shibboleth.. once again, following the wisdom of God, Mr. Martin tackles things differently.
He asked me one very important question before asking about my whys. Travis asked me WHO.
"who are you?" he asked.
huh. I'm me. I'm Tanya. I'm mommy, I'm honey. I'm taxi. I'm booboo kisser, and schedule maker. I'm bill payer and I'm friend.
"No," he says. "not what are you, but WHO are you?"
Oh.
Who.
Good Question. It has some good answers that I was reminded of.
I am a child of God.
I am made in His Image
He is beautiful.
Therefore...
I am beautiful.
JUST. THE. WAY. I. AM
God loves me NOW.
God loves me FAT.
God loves me BROKEN.
GOD LOVES ME.
So who am I to look in the mirror with disgust? Who am I to criticize what God made in his perfect will? I am a beautiful creation and I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God lives within me and I am his temple.
Well, okay then.
My temple needs some repair.
It needs some Tender Loving Care.
It needs to be swept clean of filth and poison.
It needs to be nourished and loved
It needs to be glorifying to God.
I declare today. I LOVE MYSELF.
I LOVE MY LORD.
I love myself enough to nourish and take care of the temple God has given me.
I love myself enough to put God before and health before the lust of my flesh
I love myself enough to daily make the choices that will lead me to wholeness and health.
I love myself enough not to abuse this body
I love myself more than I love food
I love God more than I love food
I am me. That's who I am.
and I am Beautiful.
And I am worth it.
