My kids and I holding hands and gliding gracefully around the roller rink, laughing and having a fabulous time. Maybe one of the little ones would fall on their little behind. There'd be a shocked look on their face and then a burst of laughter. I'd reach down and pull them to their feet and off we'd go again.
Then, I dreamed of the calorie burn. Wow... rollerskating would be great exercise. Maybe I'd really like it, and be good at it (after all I grew up ice skating and was fine with that... how much harder than ice skating could it be?) and I'd start going there for good exercise a few times a week. I looked it up. 700 calories and hour! wow! awesome. I could feel the excitement in the air. That's it.
BUY DEAL NOW! Yes, please!
So thursday morning (the morning before they are due to go off with their dad for ten days to Florida) we set out to be at the door when it opens at 10. Everybody is really excited. This is a new experience for us. Sammy and Abby have roller-skated a few times with school events, but mom has never been with them, and Mom makes everything more fun! (I will be sad when this stops being true for them)
I took a few pictures for posterity. Here's Abby getting on her skates.
I stand. I wobble. Ok. This will take me a few minutes to get used to. I haven't ice skated for 10-15 years so it will take a few minutes to come back to me. My attitude is still good, but somewhere in the back of my mind warning bells are going off. I tune them out.
I do a granny shuffle on my skates over to the wall. This rink has a wall running along only one short side of the rink. That's not cool. Okay. Let's go back and forth along the wall a few times to get the feel of things. This is not so bad... the kids immediately head out around the rink with the fearlessness that accompanies childhood. Abby falls on her butt a few times but quickly gets the hang of it and starts going around fairly efficiently for a kid who has only done this a couple of times in her life.
Jackson falls on his butt a time or two, makes a drama production of falling and waits for me to notice, and then decides to quit. Too hard. I feel a bit of disappointment because he gives up on stuff he finds hard so quickly. I wish he'd just give it ten minutes. He goes over to the indoor playground and Sammy, Abby and I are left on the rink. Turns out if we had all followed Jackson's lead, things might have ended better. 
Sammy lacks grace completely, but you can tell in his mind he's a roller skating dance star. I'd love to live in his mind for a day or two to see what it's like. He's happy though, going round and round. He's kind of shuffling, but he's not falling. I'm impressed.
Why is it that when you fall it happens so fast but seems to go in agonizing slow motion. My skate clad foot slips suddenly from under me and my arms whirl in circles trying to maintain my balance. Evidently I whirled the wrong way, because out goes my other foot and I land hard on my butt. All 205 pounds of me. Before I have time to think "ouch" my upper half follows my bottom half and slams backwards onto the hard maple floor. My head punctuates the fall with a resounding crack that sends shockwaves through my whole body. The mom who is intelligently sitting at the picnic table on her laptop while her kids skate jumps up and runs around the wall from 20 feet away. She's like "are you okay???? I heard your head crack the floor from all the way over there!" I'm sitting there, having struggled to a sitting position. "I don't know" I answer truthfully,"I think I need to go sit for a bit". So I carefully shuffle my way over to the nearest seat and roller skating staff come up to me with a big bag of ice, for which I am thankful. Damn, that hurt. Yes, I said Damn. That was way too painful for a dang.
My kids gather around me, questioning me and coddling me. I, not wanting to wreck their fun, pretend to be just fine. "Oh, clumsy mommy bonked her head! I'll be fine! Just go skate, I'll join you in a minute!". In my head I'm thinking "great, I'm gonna have brain damage." I had just finished a book, THAT morning, about a woman's journey with brain injury. I texted my husband and told him that if my personality was changed when he got home to take me to the ER. I sat for a few minutes with the ice on my head. No goose egg was forming, and I was feeling ok, more or less, other than my head hurting like heck.
I granny shuffled back to the wall, but something had taken hold of me. FEAR. I was scared to keep roller skating. I was in a lot of throbbing head pain, and the fall had happened so fast and unexpectedly that I really was worried about falling again. To top things off, we had the rink basically to ourselves since we got there, but now a daycare came in and there were now about 35 kids speeding around the rink showing a good bit of skill that spoke of them coming here often. I felt even more old and clumsy and uncoordinated than I had just been starting to feel after the fall, but I was also worried about these moving landmines called the daycare kids. How much control could people moving that fast have? I mean, I certainly couldn't get out of the way quickly, so could they?
Abby urged me to try going around the outside of the rink with her, so I started slowly moving around the rink, praying to God I wouldn't fall again and smash my aching head. A nice lady came up to me and gave me some "first timer" tips. Look straight ahead, not at the floor. Keep my arms still, don't swing them. It helped. Thank you kind stranger! Soon Abby was way ahead of me, and I was making my way slowly around the rink. Eventually I got to the wall again and decided to hang out there for a while. I mean, why push my luck right? And then she fell.
My baby. She fell, and unlike the other times, she didn't get up. She didn't even move. She just curled up into a ball and lay there. I couldn't hear her from across the room, with the loud music, but I knew she was crying, because a mom just knows. Great. This is when I want to run to her and make sure she's okay. Obviously I can't run. I can barely stay on my feet. As quick as I can I skate over to her. I reach her, and then I pass her... I'm scared to try to stop using the rubber tip thing, because I can see myself flying forward onto my face, but I got up too much speed trying to get to her to actually glide nicely to a stop beside her. So I am trying to WILL my skates to slow and somehow, just the force of my will throws me off balance and I fall to the ground beside her. Onto my elbow. The most excruciating electric pain shoots from my elbow up to my fingertips and then suddenly I can't feel my arm at all. EXCEPT for my elbow, which is now throbbing in time to my head. I really want to burst into tears at this point because it hurts so so so bad, but mommy fear wins out and I kind of crawl over to my baby girl. "Abby, are you okay baby?"
"no mommy, it hurts!"
"what hurts"
"my wrist!'
I look at it. Go through the mommy check list
bones protruding through skin? no. check.
blood? no. check
swelling? no. check
I take her arm and gently flex her wrist up and down. she flinches but it moves. her fingers bend just fine. I start to breathe easier.
then I rotate her wrist back and forth a little.
She screams.
She pulls her arm away from me. "mommy, don't turn it, please don't turn it. It hurts." Tears are rolling down her face. By this time, we've attracted the attention of the sparkles people and two people approach.The DJ clears the rink of skaters and I totally don't feel conspicuous at all. yeah. They want to know if she's okay. She is just terrified they are going to turn her arm. she says "don't touch it, please, please, please!"
They take control. They start unlacing her roller skates, and I think to myself what a fabulous idea that is, and I start unlacing mine. I'm done with roller skating. By the time I have my skates off Abby is up and they are walking her off the rink. I follow and they bring her ice. They must have a good collection of baggies, because this is the second time today they've brought my family ice in a baggie.
Abby, who is a real trouper, and one of those kids who tends to wipe herself off and move on, is not moving on. She has completely lost her fabulous sense of humor, and as I hold her she just leans her head on me and looks at me with giant sad eyes. After 20 minutes she is still in pain, and though there is no discernible swelling or anything to indicate that this is more than maybe a bad sprain, my mommy instinct kicks in. I call Josh and ask him where I should go to get an x-ray. He suggests I wait a day, or a few hours. No, I have to go now. I just know. He is smart enough not to mess with mama bear instinct and directs me to Children's Healthcare. 35 dollar copay instead of 100 for ER. Smart man. I have a bad feeling, because my baby is not bouncing back, and if my baby is anything, she's bouncy. I have personally experienced the exquisite hardness of this floor twice today, and just maybe this is more than a sprain. Better safe than sorry.
I drop the boys at home and head to Childrens Healthcare in Duluth.
My trouper is not saying much. Once she says "mommy, why is it still hurting so much??" and I say "I don't know baby. that's why we are going to the doctor. He can x-ray it and see what is going on.". My girl is healthy. I don't know that she's ever even had an x-ray except at the dentist. I tell her that it won't hurt to get an x-ray and they won't give her a shot. I can tell she is still scared, but I also know she just doesn't want it to hurt anymore. She's willing to go to a strange doctor and get a strange xray if they will stop the hurting.
Children's was fabulous. We didn't have to wait more than about 20 minutes to see somebody, and quickly thereafter we... well...
The pictures tell it all.. ouchy Abby waiting for her x-ray. Yep, that's a broken arm. and happy Abby after a massive dose of motrin and a full arm cast.
Abby said "Mommy, I don't like roller skating anymore, and I don't want to have my next birthday party there after all".
I said "oh baby, I don't like roller skating either and I'm sorry your day was so bad. I wanted to give you a fun and memorable day before you left with daddy tomorrow, and instead your arm got broken"
She said "well, it WAS fun before I fell. and it WAS memorable. I won't forget breaking my arm!"
That's my girl. Looking on the bright side!
So my roller skating fantasy was just that. A fantasy. I am essentially a giant accident waiting to happen, and my children are not naturally athletically gifted, and what the heck was I thinking anyway.
really.
rollerskating sucks.
It is now sunday (actually monday morning, at 3:59 because my sleep has been all messed up since this happened) and I am just now starting to feel better. I have been slightly nauseous and not able to think clearly and quickly for 3 days now. Each day I feel a little better. Friday and Saturday I could barely move my body. I hurt everywhere. Today my body aches are much better. My elbow is black and purple and blue, my head aches where it hit the floor. I am struggling over spelling things and remembering things I ought to know. I believe I may have sustained a mild concussion.
I should have worn a helmet. Except I don't own one because I don't have a bike, and also, my roller skating fantasy didn't have anybody wearing helmets. Sending my baby off with her dad the day after she broke her arm just about killed me. I don't trust him with her because he is not me. I felt better that he brought a stuffy and a pillow when he picked her up. It made me feel he was worried about her comfort. I hope he spoils her some, because they are at a condo on the beach and she can't get her cast wet. How fun will that be? I pray he protects it from getting any sand in it. I pray she won't be itchy, swelling, or in any way uncomfortable. She can't even draw to pass the time, because she's right handed and broke her right wrist. Poor baby.
I don't even have an uplifting way to finish this post. No encouraging words to share.... except maybe that I encourage you to stay away from roller skating rinks :)
Tomorrow I try to get back to my workouts. I haven't done anything since last wednesday because I didn't feel well enough on friday to go workout and this weekend I have been resting and trying to get my brain working on all cylinders again. My trainer promises she will take it easy on me. As long as I have sneakers on my feet and not wheels I'll be okay I think.
I just thank God I didn't kill myself, or break something like Abby did. ugh.
Let's just call this a LEARNING EXPERIENCE. If something becomes a learning experience then it makes it better right? I learned that my baby is super tough and I'm so proud of her. I learned that I should not do exercise involving wheels. I learned that shaking up your brain, even a little, is a scary thing, and that I should avoid it at all costs. Last but not least I learned that writing a blog entry at 4 in the morning while mildly brain damaged does not make for a witty, nor even a really coherent blog.Does any of this even make sense to you all?
Live and learn, that's what this journey is all about, right? Live and learn.
