I felt I needed to say something about what I have learned since my roller skating debacle last week. Evidently, when your body is healing itself it takes every ounce of energy you ever had and decides to use it for those purposes.
My trainer says it is just because I'm healing, and possibly mixed up with that, that my wonderful hormonal time of the month is approaching, but that I'll get my strength back soon enough. Meanwhile, however, she has dropped my weight on my exercises to next to nothing, and I can barely get through them. I had to quit my hour walk on the treadmill yesterday at 41 minutes because my legs were buckling and I was losing my balance, and this after I first had to reduce my speed from my normal speedy (ha!) 3.0 miles an hour to 2.8 then 2.5 miles an hour, and reduce the hill program from level 13, to 11, to 10.
REALLY? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
I realize I had begun to feel strong, and that I now really dislike feeling weak!
I didn't think trying to lose weight and get fit would teach me so much about myself. I thought I was a pretty self aware person to begin with, but I've learned a lot about how I tick through this journey, and what drives me to do the things I do, and make the decisions I make, for good or bad. Also, I've started thinking a lot differently about certain things, and like a pebble in a pond, you think differently about one thing and it causes ripples through other areas of your life.
Ever changing, ever growing
I think the only way you can really fail miserably in this life is to stop trying - to stop striving for the best your life has to give, and the best you have to give life, because even the rough spots - sometimes especially the rough spots - change you and grow you and teach you and stretch you on the inside to be a little better, a little stronger, a little more noble, a little more generous, a little more grace filled.
Yes, I agree. That was a hugely messed up run on sentence, but I am too tired to fix it, and have grown enough through the rough spots to realize it doesn't really matter. :) .. you will catch my run on drift and life will go on.
speaking of which (I'm referring to life going on), they have extended the deadline for the biggest loser challenge at my gym due to both coaches having been on vacation for a week or two, so I get another week or two to get to my 199 goal (thank you God for small mercies, because Aunt Flo and weight loss just don't GO together) and I have another week or two to kick butt,win this thing, and finish strong!
So I'm praying my strength and stamina come back sooner rather than later, but if they don't, I'll just keep doing what I can and let God take care of the rest. I need to stop stressing about stuff I can't do anything about. Anybody else need to do that? Just me? I thought so.
Blessings, Tanya-Marie
