I don't agree with everything my pastor does. He uses WAY too many sports metaphors. I mean, I'm a fat middle aged female couch potato, what do I know from sports? AND, I really feel no compelling need to keep the Georgia bulldogs (or should that be DAWGS???) in my daily prayers. However, one thing he does do, and do well, is that the man preaches from the word of God.
This past Sunday my butt was up and kicked by his preaching from the word of God. His sermon was on the need for forgiveness, and how to recognize if you needed to forgive. I've always considered myself a pretty forgiving person. I don't hold a grudge long and I am very non judgmental of my friends. It takes a lot to make me mad at you (unless you are my husband who has a gift of making me madder than anybody else in the universe. I think God gave me him to me to teach me how to control my anger) ,and when I get mad I am easy to offer forgiveness. However, as he went over signs of unforgiveness in your heart (for example, do some topics that come up make you instantly angry? probably it stems from unforgiveness somewhere) I started going - oh really..really? oh...hmmm...hmmm. oh? is that so...and started looking around to make sure everybody wasn't staring at me. At any rate, the end of the sermon had me at the alter on my knees, tears rolling down my face, sucking snot (well, I was! Repentance is not always pretty!), and asking God to show me who I needed to forgive. The fact that my Wednesday night bible study has been studying a book on forgiveness for several weeks as well did not help things. It was one of those times where you know God has a message for YOU and you want to thank the pastor for not calling you out by name during the sermon.
I got a middling length list from the Lord of people I still had anger towards, and some of them were surprising to me. I guess I'm very good at pushing down that anger to somewhere deep inside and pretending it doesn't exist. In the 4 days since the sermon I've been thinking a LOT about this whole issue. It occurred to me yesterday that unforgiveness probably has a lot to do with hindering weight loss in a lot of people. Think about it.
When you harbor unforgiveness you have a literal weight on your soul. You FEEL heavy of heart and heavy of mind. Some people carry it around so long it becomes like a vampire friend. It sucks your life and your energy out of you, and drains your joy with it's sharp little pointy fangs, but it feels safe and comfortable to you at the same time. It's where you've been so long, you don't want to, and don't even know how to, let it go. Sometimes you feel you CAN'T let it go. You ENJOY being angry at the person you are angry at. You get something out of it. (Dr. Phil would say "How's that working for you?")
With that kind of weight on your mind, heart and soul, how are we supposed to accomplish anything of worth? And meanwhile, the person you are harboring unforgiveness towards is probably walking around having a great life and not thinking about you one single iota. That's the part that really rankles when you think about it. You are wasting all this energy being angry and s/he doesn't care less!
It seems logical to me that freeing your body, mind and soul from that negative addiction of anger and resentment would lift a literal weight from your body. Now, when I say a literal weight I don't mean you forgive your Dad for abandoning you and wow, the scale is down five pounds! I mean, you forgive your Dad for abandoning you and wow, you can stand a little taller, and smile a little more, and spend that time you used to fret over him doing something productive and useful. Most of all, forgiving others draws you closer to God, and unforgiveness puts up a barrier between Him and you. Hanging on to the anger doesn't hurt the person you are angry at, it only hurts you! Aren't we on this journey to love ourselves a little more, and do what is right for our lives?
I hope others will join me today in examining our hearts for unforgiveness. I plan to get down on my knees and ask the Lord to help me forgive the unforgivable. I'm not going to tell the Lord, "but Lord you don't understand what he did to me!", because he does understand. He understands every sort of betrayal and pain. And he weeps with us. And then he takes that pain and that anger and he helps us put it away for good. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to like the person you are forgiving. It just means you aren't going to let what they did to you have power over you anymore. That you are going to give that burden away to shoulders more fit to carry it.
I believe lightening the load on our hearts and spirits will lead to lightening the load on our hips and behinds. I don't mean to be flippant, but I truly believe the healthier our spirits and minds are, the healthier our bodies will be. It's not just about Calories and exercise my friends. Travel this path with me today and let's off load some of that anger, restentment, bitterness, and even hate that we may be harboring in our hearts, and see if it makes a difference. I am excited, because I believe with all my heart it will!
