However, for now... more A. My husband gently and lovingly told me this morning that if people who didn't KNOW him read my blog yesterday, they might think he was a condescending jerk. Having not said anything he hadn't admitted readily himself I was not prepared for his gentle censure, but now that I've had an hour or two to think about it I see where he might be right. Therefore, number one, I'm sorry Honey! I love you with all my heart and I would never want anybody to think anything bad about you, especially if it wasn't true!
A is also for Accolades, and since I may have given the wrong impression of my more difficult than average to live with husband, I am about to give you my top 20 list of why it is worth every minute. This one's for you baby.
1. My husband comes home straight after work each night, and it's because that's where he wants to be.
2. My husband won't let an issue fester. If he's got a problem he will bring it up. Though that can be really annoying, it is much better than saying nothing for 14 years and then leaving me for another women - for example.. not that I'm thinking of anybody in particular. LOL.
3. My husband brings me flowers, just because, and sometimes he'll bring one for Abby and Elizabeth too.
4. My husband supports my weight loss and health efforts and will continue to mention it if he thinks he sees me emotionally eating or something non conducive to my goals, even though I usually bite his head off when he does. (I mean, come on, if you are emotionally eating, you aren't in a very good mood to begin with right?)
5. My husband will bring me home medicine when I'm sick, make me take a nap when I'm tired, and generally takes care of me.
6. My husband puts up with my perimenopausal mood swings as a fact of life, not holding it against me in any way.(You have no idea how big this one is!)
7. My husband is willing to go to counseling, talk forever, try to change his habits or modify his behaviour in order to make our family more harmonious, our kids happier, and our marriage better.
8. My husband is a great gift giver. He comes up with the nicest, most thoughtful gifts. Compared to my ex who would shop on Christmas Eve and buy me a cookbook that HE would like, this is sheer bliss.
9. My husband is affectionate. He is always willing to stop and give me a hug or a kiss.
10. My husband is actually very very funny, although not quite as funny as HE thinks he is. LOL. He keeps me laughing.
11. Though he may be quick to anger, he's even quicker to forgive and forget. He rarely holds the past against me.
12. My husband is a terrific dad. The kids might not always think so, because he isn't in it to be their friend, he's in it to be a father. That means he is about what he wants them to learn; independance, hard work, obedience, responsibility, and sacrifice. This is opposed to what they want to learn; fun, play, clean up after me,give me, help me, do for me, slacking 101, and socializing 202. It is hard to be a real father and mother. You have to make tough choices that your kids hate on a pretty much daily basis. He has said "I don't care if they don't like me, because I believe one day they will thank me". I believe he is probably right.
13. Though the situation hasn't arisen yet, I have 100 percent confidence that if anybody ever put me down, said anything mean, or belittled me in any way in front of him that my husband would right then and there put the offender in his or her place. I'm not alone in this life anymore. I have a husband who will go to bat for me.
14. My husband is proud of my skills. Even though he rarely reads, he is proud of my Blog, and says I write really well. He is proud of my craftiness and my scrapbooking skills and accomplishments. Again, I guess I appreciate this more coming out of a marriage where my skills were belittled at best and dismissed out of hand at worst. He appreciates that the things I am good at have some worth, even though they aren't the things he is good at. This means the world to me.
15. My husband says he doesn't know how he could do "this" without me. I know for a fact that he has done it without me, and could again, but what I think he really means is this: that I've made his, and Elizabeth and Jackson's life better than it could have been with him alone. That I've enriched the family and brought worth and value into it. That I've brought knowledge that is important, love that is irreplaceable, and balance and structure to the household that brings them all some much needed peace of mind. Yep, that was all in his eyes when he said it. I read eyes really well :) . Also, he loves that the underwear fairy visits his drawer each week with a clean batch of folded undies. He loves that fairy, and she moved in when I did. I think I read that somewhere in his eyes too. Well, here's a newsflash that really shouldn't be news to you honey, I couldn't begin to do this without you either!
16. My husband appreciates my efforts, even if they don't turn out perfect. As I believe I've mentioned, I find him a little OCD. There are about 1000 things that he will say "drive me crazy!", and many of them are very small things. He hates the way I fold shirts for instance. I try to remember to fold them with an extra fold and the logo facing up, but I fold.. excuse my expression... a BUTTLOAD of laundry on a regular basis, and I've done it the same way since I started doing laundry at age 14. It is very hard to teach an aging dog new tricks (I refuse to say old...). So most of the time I just fold the way I always have and though he hates it, he doesn't say anything because "hey, my clothes are getting folded and I don't have to do it". That's what I mean when I say he appreciates my efforts. Even though they are often not to his exacting OCD standards, he still appreciates that I do them at all.
17. My husband is a good kisser. And I'm the only one who gets to know it. oh yah.
18. My husband is strong and capable. He can kill a bug, he can fix a car, he can build stuff and he can fix most anything. He knows lots about everything, so there are very few questions about stuff that I don't know that I need to know, that he can not answer.
19. My husband is like having a built in gps. He's lived in Lawrenceville forever and a day, and he drives trucks for a living all around Georgia, so when I texted him yesterday and said "Where's the nearest post office. I'm on the way to pick up the kids", he quickly texted me back two options and told me how to get there using roads he knew I know. That's an invaluable quality to have in a man when you (in Josh's immortal words) "can't back out of the driveway without the GPS". Yep, it's true. I'm a directional ninny, and he's my GPS in shining armor.
20. Last but not least. I love my husband because he came to me at a time when I thought I might never find love again and he looked past my weight and anything else about my appearance and he saw what I had to give. He taught me how to be strong, how to hold my head high, how to assert myself and to find belief again in the words of 1Cor 13 : 4-8
LOVE
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Joshua, for your love that never fails, I will be always grateful, and for those who might have had a bad impression of Josh because I tend to gripe about his shortcomings more than praise his good points (hey, I'm only human.. the shortcomings annoy you more so tend to be more on your mind!) I hope this blog will reverse your thoughts and show what a truly one of a kind, amazing husband this lucky woman has. Blessings! Tanya
