Wednesday, November 10, 2010

On turning 39. (or BIG DEAL!)

I've been 39 for going on a week now, and I can tell you confidently that it is shockingly similar to being 38.  The only thing I notice is that I'm more cognizant that I am now on the last year of this decade of my life. Next year I will be MIDDLE AGED. That should give me a foreboding shiver, but it really doesn't. It seems the older I get the less I really care about my age except in relation to how close it is to retirement and how little money I have in savings, and how fast my children are growing up. Birthday conclusion - no big deal!

I was thinking about writing about what I've learned over the past 39 years, if anything, but then I decided that was best left for the big 4-0. Surely I will have learned something between age 30 and 40? I still have a year left so I hold out hope! Instead, I will tell you about a birthday in the land of Tanya.

I woke up with a headache, and I didn't immediately recall it was my birthday until my husband rolled over and like an excited 5 year old asked "do you want your present now!?" (he had asked the night before and I had calmly replied no, I didn't, because it wasn't my birthday. He asked me again after midnight. I again said no. He is much like me in that once we have something for somebody we really want to give it.)

I got a pink toolbox. Before you get that fixed in your mind, let me rephrase that. I received a magenta toolbox, so get that pastel baby pink out of your mind.  Yuck. I received a magenta toolbox with a short fat little magenta and black hammer, two short and fat magenta and black screwdrivers... HEY! Wait a minute... I see a theme here all of a sudden that I am not so sure I like!! Why all these short stubby tools honey? are you trying to tell me something? At any rate, I love my toolbox. Here's a picture:

The reason I so love this toolbox, and the man who bought it for me, is that in order to know I wanted this, he had to have listened to me stomping around the house in a fury several months ago in search of nothing so much as a hammer and a couple of finishing nails. I had some tools when I was single, but all my tools got ABSORBED into his tools when we got married and now I can't find anything. It is highly frustrating when a woman just wants to hang a picture or fix a small something or other! I was mad because he wouldn't tell me where to find some finishing nails and I yelled something about how I was going to get a toolbox and fill it with everything I needed and nobody else would be able to touch it! I may have even been crying. I DO tend to cry when I'm angry. That means in the middle of me being a ... well... a not so loving kind person... he took the time to listen to the real need under the tirade and file it away as something to get me. That's nice. If you'll notice, it has a little protruding rounded part on the front center. THAT, my friends, is a place to put a lock. I plan on getting a lock and I plan on filling up my toolbox with all things good and tooly and handy and I plan on locking it away from my four children and my husband and jealousy guarding the contents with my life. Okay, that might be a bit dramatic, but just a bit. I was very happy with my toolbox.

Now, considering that none of my children have money and two of them are under 8, I wasn't expecting anything else for my birthday except some hugs, and a happy birthday from the little ankle biters. Little did I know, that my children love me more than that! I got many handmade tidbits for my birthday. I got a card promising me free babysitting or chores or snuggles from Elizabeth. I got two handmade "kite" cards; one from Abby and one from Jackson. Jackson, who hates hates hates to write, even wrote several words in praise of me! (my mommy is the best!). WOW! That's downright verbose for him! My 9 year old, Sammy, made me a paper airplane, and inside it said "I love you so much I'd fly all the way to china for you". It then had the words USA and CHINA with a plane and an arrow pointing from one to the other drawn on it. Abby made a small little piece of paper that said "happy birthday mommy" and had a 3-D sticker of a present to add to her kite offering. The day after (she worked on it all night, but it wasn't finished until the next morning) I received a wonderful little scrapbook from Elizabeth with page after page of wonderful things. My favorite pages are "you are the diamond in my rough" and "you give me wings" and "no matter how big I get I'll still be your little girl" and "no matter how big you get you'll still be my mommy" (again, I'm wondering if this is referring to BIG... hmmm.. could I be paranoid.?). Oh, and also "every cloud has a silver lining and you are mine". It has taken her a long time to start calling me mommy, even part of the time, but lately she says it more and more. Her book showed me how much my being in her life meant to her, and that was the greatest gift I could ever get. I love being her mommy, and I hope I can fill part of the void left by the death of her birth mommy.  I'll be bringing the scrapbook to church wednesday to show off to my friends.

You'd think that would be enough, but wait, there's more! You all know I'm trying to get healthy and lose weight right? Well, when my hubby made me sit in the living room while all the kids gathered in the kitchen I was thinking "well, so much for my diet".  However, when I sat at the chair in the kitchen with my eyes closed and started hearing that too familiar refrain of "happy birthday to you" I opened my eyes to the most amazing thing! I would post a picture, but I can't find the camera right now that the picture is on. Here was a plate with six (count 'em! six!) skinny cow ice cream sandwiches all in a circle on the plate. The middle sandwich was impaled with two glowing candles that read "29". I burst into laughter! MY HUSBAND JOSH IS TOO COOL. I guess he was trying to top my cake for him last year at his 38th birthday.  Here is a picture of his cake last year.  Heehee. At any rate, it was one ice cream sandwich for everyone, and I got the pleasure of having a "cake", and no harm done to my diet!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        


I really adore my family, and I'm grateful for them. Turning 39 was no big deal chronologically, but the love I was shown by the 5 people who make up my little universe made it a BIG DEAL indeed.  A really big deal!

Happy Birthday to me.

Blessings, Tanya